My Green Grass Syndrome

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Grandma married very young, lived in the same place her whole life and had 6 children. She never had a career and never got a chance to go on a vacation. To me her life was hard, poor and devoid of any real opportunities or options. Very much unlike my life and the options available to me.

But you see, the problem with having options is that it makes me restless. I can’t seem to be satisfied with what I have and I’m always wondering about the next big thing. 

I think someone else is having a better time than me. I make myself miserable by constantly thinking about the unknown in an endless pursuit of happiness. 

I lie awake at night torturing myself over what I should do next, wondering if I’m missing out on something big. I feel I am wasting my life if I am not doing something more important, something more adventurous, something more successful or thrilling than I currently am. I always want more.

And that’s when I become depressed and spend all my time and energy focusing on what I don’t have rather than counting my blessings. 

So I start to move around to find what I like to call “my happy place”, jumping from one job or relationship to the next, never fully committing to anything. 

Once I’ve made that leap, once I’ve moved to where I thought the grass would be greener, I realize that it is no different. Then I start to wonder about the grass being greener elsewhere.

I have found that focusing on things I don’t have is a recipe for disaster and it only leads to a more miserable existence and causes me to forget what is most important and all the positive things happening right now.

I often forget that the whole point of happiness is peace of mind, acceptance and contentment. Basically, it’s being happy no matter where you are in the world, or what you are doing, or whom you are with. 

I wonder what life would have been like for grandma had she had the opportunities I have today. But I’m slowly coming to realize that grandma might have just been fine with her lifestyle. She might have just been happier than I am today. Her life was simple and perhaps there’s a clue to that. Maybe the simple life is where I can find peace. 

So I make an effort to embrace everything that comes along, go out and see the world and enjoy everything life has to offer. And whenever I feel myself losing focus and wondering about where I’ll be happy next, I pinch myself back to reality. Look at all I have achieved, it’s not half bad! Then I enjoy the moments that are happening now. 

Like Mum would say, happiness is not about where you go. It is not about being on an impossible mission to do everything, see everywhere and accomplish everything you ever dreamed of. Happiness is a state of mind which I can achieve by building a life around my current location, making new friends, settling into a routine, finding ways to enjoy the moment rather than dwelling on all the things that I could be doing elsewhere. 

When my green grass syndrome sets in, I try to assure myself that my grass is green enough! And even if the grass is actually greener on the other side, who said I like dark green?

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73 responses »

  1. Lol you need more than just yourself to pinch you and remind you of your current blessings, instead of your mind wandering now and then.

  2. The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here and the way to be happy is to make others happy. Happiness never really never had anything to do with processions or accomplishments, its a state of mind!
    Nice write up!

  3. Happiness never really had anything to do with processions or accomplishments. its being contented with what you have and getting the best out of what you have. Its a state of mind!
    Nice write up!

  4. See…this has been in my head! I think my own problem too is just having options..lol. Makes it so difficult to make a decision… I miss the simple times of our grandparents sha…

    • Sisi Yemmie commented on my blog *doing my happy dance* Lol… Thanks babe. Yup. I actually thot of making the title ‘I hate having options’ cos I really don’t like making decisions or having to choose but life isn’t that simple is it 🙂

  5. True talk..not like getting to a greener grass would make us get out of this life alive…..Contemptment and Thanksgiving to God for all is so KEY….#kapish!

  6. “Who said I like dark green?”…lol. For the first time, (in the recent and not too recent past), i read a blog that actually doesn’t invoke vomit….hmmm…

    I’ll keep an eye on this page…

  7. And she finds her calling……………………..you just itemized the issue with the world as we know it today in your own unique style. love the “mummy said line”.lol. Great piece dear. watching my very own Tojs metamorphosize into the next Chimamanda!!!!

  8. Learning to be happily content is life’s great achievement. Not surprise though cause u strike me as a Jill of all trades. Keep being inspired!!

  9. Your story reminds me of my childhood experience with my grand mum, living with her were the best days of my life and I think the grass was greener than.

  10. Hey babes! Good stuff…hehehe. so you actually know better than worrying about the ‘greener side’. I wish I could say that without three fingers pointing right back at me. I like the honesty, and the way you ended with a bang! I thought you used too many paragraphs though…maybe one paragraph per thought/idea? Maybe you could use some pauses as well. Waiting on the next post girl…see why I believe in you?

  11. I loved this…for its honesty and the thought pattern. LOL…I don’t even see grass some days, I see rocky paths and stones, I’m used to them though, I just remind myself that I’m the one walking, so i hold my head high and keep walking.

    Good stuff this.

  12. …and there are some who lay “all-weather” astroturf in their gardens to give us the illusion that its evergreen in their zone. Do not be deceived nobody has it 100 percent. Choose happiness and contentment and life will reward you.
    Thank u Tj for this piece of uplifting pie.

  13. I totally love this! My grass is indeed green enough and honestly we need to enjoy our moments rather than waiting for “when I get there”.
    Nice one

  14. Great write up, filled with truth and reality. Isn’t the green grass syndrome a general sickness?not appreciating what you ve got until is gone or about lossing it. Contentment and peace of mind, re values greater than rubies.

  15. Hmmmm! Dis just put me out of my not-so-happy mood thanks 2 Aero. Ya I totally agree hapiness is a thing of the mind never by what u posses, where u visit…ever wonder why how u see this lovely shoes and think getting it will mk u real happy but find out that after purchasing it, u are on the look out for some thing else? Nice nice nice write up. Thumbs up TJ

    • Aaaawwww…. That’s music to my ears. I’m absolutely with you on the shoes thing cos I’m a major culprit. I comfort-shop for shoes all the time but just like you said, it doesn’t really change anything. In fact, it feels like you are talking directly to me lol..

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